penat.

as we're reaching the end of the semester, it's getting harder for me to wake up for school each day.
i think i'm running out of steam.
i keep complaining to my friends.
i keep saying, "dah ah. quit school ah. cannot take it already!"
but i don't really mean it lah, DUH!

and and,what else do you want me to do?
i've tried my best and i'm still trying hard to fix things.
but please don't make me feel as if i'm the one to be blamed.
blamed for all that i've caused. whether directly or indirectly.
makes me feel lonely. like i'm all by myself, doing it alone. even though you've said many times that i can always ask for help.
and i admit. i'm struggling. it's really hard. and i try to understand you. to understand your actions and to prove to others that it's right.
but for once, i ask of you to understand me. to understand us. maybe your intentions are right, and it's for our own good. but in an environment like ours, it is hard to keep up.but i keep telling myself to push on. i keep telling them to push on too.
because i want to leave in peace. i want to pass the torch while it's still burning. not when it's dying. dying because i didn't put in effort to shield it from the wind. didn't do much to prevent the flame from dying. with this little time left to redeem myself and my actions, i will try.

thank you and goodnight.

11:40 PM ·